Doris says if you haven't any place else to go, you're welcome to drop by Boomtown America today!

If you haven't any plans for Thanksgiving dinner, Jeannie says you're invited to have dinner at Major Nelson's house!

Besides the obvious sexism, implying single women were somehow going ketchup-less...do you find anything, oh, somewhat suggestive about the woman's pose and what she's running her finger over?

Photographic proof of what we all suspected.

The drug cartel pushing opioids on Riverdale’s formerly clean-cut high school kids was smashed when surveillance cameras caught Forsythe P. (“Jughead”) Jones and a group of his customers, who are visibly going through withdrawal symptoms.

Police have warrants out for two other alleged members of the cartel, Reginald (“The Weasel”) Mantle and suspected ringleader, Waldo (“Killer Bee”) Weatherbee, who is also sought for questioning in connection with a male prostitution ring.

When those city-slickers talk about being "a good sport," goodness will have nothing to do with it!