Remember the Beach Party movies of the 1960’s? They were made quickly and cheaply with the barest excuse for a plot (and the barest excuse for swimsuits they could get away with in those days.

Somehow, when they decided to make one more trip to beach in 1987 with Paramount Pictures’ Back to the Beach, they made it look just as cheap and feeble as the original films!

Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello are the stars (natch) only instead of being “Frankie and Dee Dee” as they were called in the original series, they’re now named “Annette” and “Annette’s Husband” (no, we’re not making that up).

What little plot there is revolves around a return trip to Malibu where their grown-up daughter is “living in sin” (remember that concept?) with a new generation of surfer. Also along for the ride is their young son, who actually looks like he could be Eric Von Zipper’s kid (although Harvey Lembeck is nowhere to be found). If we were Frankie, we’d get a DNA test. Just sayin’…

Anyway, Frankie’s become a car salesman in Ohio who couldn’t do “surf’s up” if you gave him Viagra, Annette has a serious Skippy problem and Connie Stevens (who was never in the original series) shows up as the divorced woman on the make putting the moves on Frankie.

Along the way, you also get cameo appearances by a whole raft of Baby Boom TV icons: Wally & the Beav, Gilligan, Maxwell Smart and more.

You also get Stevie Ray Vaughn jammin’ on the classic instrumental “Pipeline” with surf music legend Dick Dale.

Just when you think things couldn’t get any weirder, Pee Wee Herman pops up out of nowhere to sing “Surfin’ Bird” (we repeat, we are not making this up).

There are some of those really phony looking shots of the stars riding surfboards inside a Hollywood soundstage, a couple of gratuitous jokes about Annette’s two biggest assets, and a surfing competition where June Cleaver gets to say “crapola.”

If you’re feeling nostalgic or want something to play in the background while you engage in a little mid-life make-out session, you might want to rent or stream Back to the Beach this weekend.

Now, anybody know what happened to Gidget and Moondoggie?

There is evidence that a daily regimen of low-dose aspirin (what used to be called “baby aspirin”) can reduce the risk of a first heart attack or stroke in those between the ages of 50 and 69. There is also some evidence that it may reduce the risk of colon cancer. Experts warn that such a regimen should only be undertaken by those with a high risk of heart disease and a low risk of bleeding.

As with any drug, do not begin a regimen of low-dose aspirin without consulting your doctor.

With all of the CSI-style forensic cop shows on TV, it may be hard to remember that network television was once ruled by cowboys and two-fisted private eyes.

One of the first of the shamuses was Richard Diamond, Private Detective.

The show was one of the first on TV because it had been a long-running, successful radio series. The radio show was created by Blake Edwards, who was later to create TV detective Peter Gunn as well as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau of Pink Panther film fame.

 Diamond had been played on radio by Dick Powell, but when it made the jump to CBS television, Powell stepped behind the camera as Executive Producer. In his place a young David Janssen was cast, beginning what was a very long career as a television star (The Fugitive, O’Hara, U.S. Treasury, Harry O, etc.). 

One of the best remembered elements of the show was Diamond’s answering service. The woman who took his messages was only identified as “Sam” and we only saw close-ups of her mouth and most often, shots of her very attractive legs.

Supplying the voice and the gams was none other than Mary Tyler Moore who was just billing herself as Mary Moore in those days.

The first two seasons saw Diamond as a hard-boiled Manhattan detective in the Dashiell Hammett/Mickey Spillane tradition. However, for the 3^rd season (perhaps reflecting the sudden success of a new private eye series 77 Sunset Strip) Diamond moved out to Los Angeles and traded his shabby N.Y. office for an elegant bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills.

For its fourth and final season, the show jumped to NBC and the Hollywood glamour elements were toned down.

While the show was initially very successful in syndication, the fact that all four seasons were shot in black and white eventually led to its disappearance from the Vast Wasteland.

Two of the shows 77 episodes have since slipped into public domain. They can be found on many “dollar bin” collections of old TV shows, but the rest of the series has never been officially released on home video.

1964: The Rolling Stones make a television appearance on ABC’s Hollywood Palace. Guest host Dean Martin insults the band by remarking after a daredevil trambolinist’s act: “That's the father of The Rolling Stones. He's been trying to kill himself ever since.”

1972: Ronnie Spector escapes from the Alhambra, California, mansion of her husband, legendary composer and producer Phil Spector. Ronnie, most famous as the lead singer of the Ronettes, says she had been held there as a virtual prisoner since the day she married Phil in 1968.

Barefoot at the time, she crashed out through the glass of a back door at the mansion, severely cutting her feet.

Does it need to be mentioned that she filed for divorce several days later?

2002: Paul McCartney gets married for the second time. His bride is a former model and activist for the disabled, Heather Mills at St. Salvator Church in Glaslough, Ireland.

Ringo Starr, Elton John, David Gilmour and Chrissie Hynde are among the guests in attendance.

The couple would divorce just 6 years later.

In the recording studio on this day:

1958: Elvis Presley (“A Fool Such as I”)
1964: Rolling Stones (“It’s All Over Now”)
1967: Monkees (“Pleasant Valley Sunday”)
1968: The Beatles (“Revolution No. 9”)

1989: Exactly 25 years after Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys hit #1 with “Help Me Ronda,” his daughters Carnie and Wendy, along with John Phillips’ daughter Chyna, hit the top of the charts as Wilson Phillips with “Hold On.”

1991: Bruce Springsteen marries E Street Band member Patti Scialfa. It is Springsteen’s second marriage. His first marriage to model Julianne Phillips ended shortly after Springsteen took up with Scialfa. Patti and Bruce remain married and she still performs with the band.